Yes, I'm still alive

-I'm going to stop apologizing for my lack of blog updates. I was starting to feel guilty for it, but I now realize that blogging will only be enjoyable for me if I don't look at it as a chore or duty. I really enjoy expressing myself, but I don't wanna force myself to make half-assed entries with little substance. I used to criticize my friends who became lazy with blogging, but I realize it is not my place to do so.

-I'm sure a lot of you have been reading Raptor's blog lately. For those who don't, he is a top internet player who has kind of transformed himself lately. He has started a sudden focus on dieting, exercising a lot, trying new activities such as yoga. While I don't strongly associate myself with him, the changes he is trying to go through resemble my own. The past year or so, I've become very interested in self-improvement. I constantly try to find out what I don't like about myself, and figure out how I can change it. I also try to make a consistent effort to try new things, everything from learning the basics of Buddhism to keeping an open mind about new sports. Right now, it has been about trying to life a "healthy" lifestyle where I'm pursuing goals that reflect what I believe everyone needs to maximize happiness. Exercising, eating well, getting consistent sleep, etc. I believe that there is a good life equilibrium that we are still trying to figure out, but I'm trying my best to move closer to it.

-I defended my FTOPS HU title on Sunday. There were 1300+ entrants, a large increase from the 512 from last year. Full Tilt decided to allow byes this time, which is really lame. I ended up having to play a first round match, while the majority of entrants received a bye. I ended up winning my first 3 matches, but going down in the 4th round. I had a lot of fun and believe that the format is perfect for me. It is the one tournament that I get really excited about. I probably put more effort into the FTOPS HU event than any other single day of poker. In related news, my custom gold football jersey came in the mail for my FTOPS win. It is an authentic-style jersey. I plan on getting it custom framed and hanging it up in my apartment, as its a really cool way of displaying one of my big poker accomplishments.

-My trash talking in chat boxes needs to come to a halt. I am very courteous to fish, but against competent players I am often a dick. I don't know why I do it, must be some kind of insecurity issue. I had a friend of mine call me classless the other day, and it was a bit of a wake-up call. I've also come to the realization that my trash talking is probably -EV. It does occasionally put people on tilt, but the more common result is that it makes me focus more on the chat than the actual match. It also makes me steam a lot. If you catch me talking shit from now on during the middle of an actual match and show me proof, I will transfer you $10.

-My results in poker have continued to be very solid. I ran really well at 5/10 heads-up to start, but have come a little bit back down to earth. I definitely feel comfortable making 5/10 one of my regular games now. It has been necessary to do this. There has been a large influx of regs at mid-stakes HU lately, making it more difficult to get soft games. Attached are my results for July... better to post them later than never. In the mean time, I have quite a lot of hands I need to grind for the rest of August to qualify for our August $$$ bet. GOGOGOGOGO